Simon Says - "How to Be Funny" - Part 1 - Make Fun of Yourself

Self-deprecation. Ever wonder why many comics often open their set with an analysis of their own flaws, offering jokes at their own expense? The answer is threefold:

1) It invites, and gives permission to, the audience to laugh -- even at the performer. An appetizer to the main course, if you will. 

2) It opens the door to making fun of others later on, and signals good faith. Indeed, self-deprecation serves as an illustration that later jokes, at others' expense, is done in all good fun. The implicit message is to the audience is:

"Now that I have made fun of myself, you see that, when I make fun of others, it is not because I am a hypocrite or mean-spirited, but rather, because I make fun of everything and everyone. Including, and especially, me. And it is perfectly okay to laugh."

There are further implications and benefits to this approach, such as inoculating the audience to taking offense to jokes that might apply to them, even indirectly. A joke at a celebrity's expense, for example, for being overweight or unhealthy, might be personally offensive to individuals in the audience who themselves suffer the same faults. Yet, if, as in my case, you first offer a few jokes about how short you are (e.g., how people often mistake you, from behind, for a lost child), it paves the way for the audience to laugh at themselves too. It may take the sting out of jokes that might otherwise been hurtful to some members of your audience.

In sum, making fun of oneself -- at the outset -- is how a comedian can get their foot in the door to then humorously address others and the world at large. It lends a meaningful credibility to subsequent jokes aimed outside of themselves.

3) Comedy is therapy. For both the performer and the audience. Comedy is like Catholic confession, except the priest is expected to laugh. But more importantly, jokes we make at our own expense are how we can take ownership of our shortcomings, and turn them around at the world as a way to move forward with them.

When we embrace our faults, paradoxically, they are no longer faults at all. Rather, they become asymmetrical assets: Something that is unique to ourselves, that makes us stand out from the world around us. We can then fall back on them as tools of our own making, in almost any context, to draw a laugh when we need it. Indeed, I cannot tell you how many times I have made a short joke at my own expense before taking a deposition to relieve the tension in the room. And it works. 

This directly feeds into a related topic concerning real-world applications of self-deprecation. There is much talk these days about bullying: how to overcome bullying; how to stop bullying; how to defeat the bully; and how to teach the bully a lesson. And you can probably guess exactly how I would advise a kid being bullied:

"Anticipate the jokes that are coming at you, get ahead of them, and make them yourself. After all, who is better positioned to offer hilarious commentary about a particular flaw than the person who has lived it? Then, after you have essentially taken the ammunition from the bewildered bully's hands, you now have free reign to turn it around on him or her, if you so choose. After all, after having made fun of yourself, and after having endured a previous history of this guy or gal making fun of you, you have implicit socially-accepted permission to direct a few jokes back against the bully. And the other kids will root for you. Indeed, their subconscious drive toward justice might hunger for it. So, by making fun of yourself, and even doing so in a manner that is more original or clever than that of the bully, you have earned it."

Ultimately, the difference between a bully and just an ordinary, well-meaning funny person is: the bully directs humor outwards to feel superior and their victim inferior, whereas the funny person directs humor inwards and outwards alike to make themselves and their audience feel equal.