Comedian - Impersonator - entertainer

Dave
SIMON

 
DAVE SIMON.jpg

Stand up live



phoenix



APRIL 08, 2018

Live performance in front of a sold out, fantastic crowd at Stand Up Live, Phoenix, Arizona - Sunday April 8, 2018. Bringing the nation together with a White House Petition: one weekend. One house. Obama. Trump. Hidden cameras, Big Brother style. No Teleprompters. No tweeting. All hilarity.
 

Attorney by day.



sleepy by night.



comedian



in between.

HILARITY FOR HIRE! AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PERFORMANCES AT EVENTS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: 

  • CORPORATE FUNCTIONS.

  • INTERNATIONAL OR INTERGALACTIC AWARD SHOWS.

  • POLITICAL FUNDRAISERS (5 for 5 in getting high school class presidents elected!)

  • DINNER AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE.

  • YOUR FIRST TINDER/BUMBLE DATe with that special someone (free CHAPERONING as a bonus!)

  • YOUR WORK COMMUTE.

  • LIVE MANI/PEDI ENTERTAINMENT.

  • IN FRONT OF A MIRROR BY MYSELF! 


DAVE'S eightfolD



path to hilArity

They say you cannot explain funny. But, I'll give it a shot. With graphs! It's science!

1.  Self-Deprecation: The essence of hilarity. Another word for comedy taken at someone else's expense without including self-deprecation? Schadenfreude. If someone cannot laugh at themselves, they can hardly complain when nobody laughs when they make fun of someone else

2. Punch upward, not downward. Deliver; don't demean. But the strong can take it.

3. Political Incorrectness can work. But: Venturing into areas of political incorrectness must be done thoughtfully. Key: the more politically incorrect, the funnier, more original, or increasingly clever the joke or commentary must be to compensate accordingly.

4. Never offensive or provocative simply to be offensive or provocative. If, upon review, there was no actual joke or meaningful insight, then the material is ill-prepared for primetime.  

5. Profanity, but with a purpose. A tool of emphasis, sparingly and meaningfully used. Not a verbal tic. 

6. Impersonations encased in material. An impression for an impression's sake is good. But an impression enhancing material that was funny to begin with? Priceless.

7. Entertainment through energetic exuberance. High-energy, room-commanding stage presence. 

8. Have fun and be fun. The audience knows when the comedian is not enjoying him or herself on stage. This subconsciously places undue pressure on the audience to laugh, because the audience wants to relieve the comedian's tension. But trying to force laughter actually suppresses laughter. Hence, a vicious circle develops, and the comedian's set spirals downward. On the other hand, comedians that are genuinely having a blast onstage place absolutely no pressure on the audience to laugh. Indeed, the best comedians can tell a joke that completely falls flat, but then, (going back to Rule No. 1) is able to elicit laughter by humorously observing just how bad the joke was, and happily move on. 

 

Experience

attorney

Licensed to practice law since 2013.

Graduated from the University of Arizona law school in 2012, passed the bar in 2013, and have been proudly and diligently representing individuals ever since. I am presently employed by a firm in Scottsdale, Arizona specializing in representing victims of medical negligence, catastrophic injury, and wrongful death. All the opinions and commentary contained herein are my own.

In the practice of law, the use of humor can sometimes be appropriate, but it must be done thoughtfully and strategically.

For example, in depositions, those under oath tend to be guarded and wary of the attorney across the table. They worry that they are going to be subject to an intense interrogation characterized by forceful intimidation. However, I find that being respectful, professional, and engaging is far more effective in evoking an open, candid, and honest exchange with a witness. Humor is a great way to break the ice, and genuinely convey that one means the witness no harm, but simply wishes to enjoy a truthful conversation.

Humor can also be used to satirize the opposing party's position, and persuasively highlight its flaws in a memorable manner. Of course, it is critical to be selective when applying humor in this way, as it requires riding a fine line -- overstep that line on the one side, and it can be read as disrespectful to the opposing party or the court. Overstep that line on the other side, and it can be read as insensitive or glib. However, when done right, such methods can pack an effective supplement to sound logic.

Also, there is a popular conception of attorneys as humorless, left-brained paper-pushers, whose sole purpose of existence is to complicate life with needless rules, regulations, and lawsuits. There are few sentences more embedded with dread than those beginning with, "I got a letter from an attorney..."  So, there is this prevailing, pre-existing assumption that effective attorneys must overcome in every initial client interaction, phone call to an insurance company, or in jury selection. To surpass this hurdle is critical to gaining trust and building rapport, thereby laying the groundwork for the services, request, or case presentation that is to follow.

Creativity, art, and humor are right-brained forms of communication. These modes appeal to our hearts, not just our minds. The root of their effectiveness can sometimes defy any explanation. Indeed, presenting left-brain logical arguments, encased in creative right-brained mediums, where appropriate, can bypass undue cynicism and skepticism and deliver a message that might otherwise go unheard.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Dave's Eightfold Path To Hilarity (In 50 Shades of Grey!)

Dave's Rule of Political Incorrectness

The Greater the Incorrectness, the Funnier You Must Be.

I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

SKILLS

  • An Obama impersonation so solid that it can fool Michelle
  • A Trump impersonation so convincing that Dave can call directly into Fox and Friends
  • An Aziz Ansari impression so irritating that even Aziz would say "Daaaaaamn! Do I really sound like that?"
  • Cringe-worthy karaoke.
  • Analyzing stuff you never thought about.
  • Understanding the inner-workings of a dog's mind.
  • Managing to get lost on routine drives.
  • Perfectly timing micro-blackouts to the precise moment, as someone is introducing themselves, when they say their name.
  • MacGyvering household objects to reach the top shelf.
 


Education

University of arizona, james e. rogers college of law, tucson, Arizona.

JURIS DOCTOR
MAGNA CUM LAUDE
Graduated May 2012

 

UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA, TUCSON, ARIZONA

B.A. IN PSYCHOLOGY
MINOR IN CREATIVE WRITING
MAGNA CUM LAUDE
Graduated December 2017

Awards

Class clown - 2000 - 2003
granny award - most consistent early bedtime
the hopey changey honor - best obama impersonation
darwin award - honorable mention (re:that incident we no longer speak of)
pull-its-er prize - for pulling that joke out of you-know-where
noyell prize - like the nobel prize, but for winning the quiet game as a child.
nighttime emmy award - best insane dream after staying up late watching black mirror and eating pizza.
 

Contact

Email: DAVESIMONCOMEDY@GMAIL.COM
INSTA/TWITTER/FACEBOOK: @hairyhilarity